Ask El Vez

El Vez · Post by **El Vez** » Tue Jul 29, 2003 9:24 am

Remember the "Ask Elvis" section from the old IDJ site? Well, I thought I would start one of my own. Recently, it has struck me how many similarities there are between E.C. and myself. Both of us are carbon-based bipeds. Both of us wear glasses. Both of us have had disastrous affairs with Bebe Buell. Uncanny...... just uncanny.

Ask away!

Post by **spooky girlfriend** » Tue Jul 29, 2003 12:28 pm

Where do you get the inspiration for most of your songs?

And how come you can't stay married?

mood swung · Post by **mood swung** » Tue Jul 29, 2003 12:53 pm

which one's the damn salad fork???!!! and is it spring forward, fall back or spring back and fall forward?

Post by **BlueChair** » Tue Jul 29, 2003 1:03 pm

Who would your ideal backing band consist of in the studio? What about live?

A rope leash · Post by **A rope leash** » Tue Jul 29, 2003 1:05 pm

Are you the real El Vez, the Mexican Presley impersonator?

oily slick · Post by **oily slick** » Tue Jul 29, 2003 2:07 pm

why are you lying about the glasses; you don't have glasses on in your photos? and what is the young lady's hand doing between your legs under the table?

El Vez · Post by **El Vez** » Tue Jul 29, 2003 2:35 pm

Spooky Girlfriend,

The inspiration for most of my songs comes from Englebert Humperdink. He's a mate that one! When Bert and I are stuck, we usually call Taupin or Gary U.S. Bonds.

Why is it so difficult to remain married? Well, a man is only as faithful as his options my dear.

love,
El Vez

Mood Swung,

The salad fork is generally on the opposite side of where the other fork is placed on the table.

And it's spring forward, fall back.

love, El Vez

Bluechair,

You're a canny lad and should know that the lineup I enjoyed during the Spike recording sessions were, without parallel, the finest I've ever played with. I just wish Paul would get over the Yoko thing. Live? I've always fancied doing a tour with The Donnas.

proper manly love,
El Vez

Rope Leash,

There is only one master of Mexican Presley impersonations.

decidely proper manly love,
El Vez

Oily Slick,

Concerning the first question, I think it is a bit of a "kettle-black" don't you.

Basic human decency prohibits me from answering the second question.

filthy unchristian love,
El Vez

mood swung · Post by **mood swung** » Tue Jul 29, 2003 2:55 pm

****wow!**** he actually answered my questions!!!! swoon. giggle. faint.

wake up with bump on head. kick puppy. swear never to touch another tropical drink the rest of my life.

but you know what? I'm a carbon-based biped. I wear glasses (to drive, OS) and my natural hair color is almost as dark as EC's. With a little help from Miss Clairol, I could easily be his Presbyterian alter ego. So we can do Ask Mood Swung as well. I'll just fill in from time to time when El Vez is busy.

El Vez, another question--
will you be at Sundown on thursday?

Post by **spooky girlfriend** » Tue Jul 29, 2003 3:46 pm

Hey, ElVez

That quote "a man is only as faithful as his options" I swear I heard when listening to a Chris Rock gig.

So that's where Elvis is getting his quotes these days.

El Vez · Post by **El Vez** » Wed Jul 30, 2003 4:43 am

mood swung wrote: El Vez, another question--
will you be at Sundown on thursday?

Don't remind me! I want to see Junior Brown so bad and am still pissy over the fact that I have to work that night!

love,
El Vez

El Vez · Post by **El Vez** » Wed Jul 30, 2003 4:48 am

spooky girlfriend wrote:Hey, ElVez

That quote "a man is only as faithful as his options" I swear I heard when listening to a Chris Rock gig. So that's where Elvis is getting his quotes these days.

Actually, it's a bit more complicated than that. Chris Rock got the inspiration for that joke while reading the now infamous Confessions of a Yakuza.....which was itself an underworld parody of Bruce Campbell's witty biography, If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor. Bruce Campbell as it turns out, decided he wanted to become an actor after seeing Bob Dylan as Alias in Pat Garrett & Billy The Kid.

So Dylan is actually guilty of lifting from.....Dylan.

love,
El Vez

oily slick · Post by **oily slick** » Wed Jul 30, 2003 9:14 pm

el vez, how do you feel about juliette lewis?

so lacklustre · Post by **so lacklustre** » Thu Jul 31, 2003 5:04 am

What's the wing velocity of the swallow?

ReadyToHearTheWorst · Post by **ReadyToHearTheWorst** » Thu Jul 31, 2003 5:10 am

... and what's your favourite colour?

so lacklustre · Post by **so lacklustre** » Thu Jul 31, 2003 5:18 am

What do you seek?

El Vez · Post by **El Vez** » Thu Jul 31, 2003 8:06 am

oily slick wrote:el vez, how do you feel about juliette lewis?

Good actress.....bit high strung.

El Vez · Post by **El Vez** » Thu Jul 31, 2003 8:08 am

so lacklustre wrote:What's the wing velocity of the swallow?

El Vez · Post by **El Vez** » Thu Jul 31, 2003 8:10 am

ReadyToHearTheWorst wrote:... and what's your favourite colour?

El Vez · Post by **El Vez** » Thu Jul 31, 2003 8:11 am

so lacklustre wrote:What do you seek?

It's called rock & roll.

signed,
The Finger

ReadyToHearTheWorst · Post by **ReadyToHearTheWorst** » Thu Jul 31, 2003 8:18 am

El Vez wrote:
so lacklustre wrote:What's the wing velocity of the swallow?

an appropriate response would be:
'African or European?'

ReadyToHearTheWorst · Post by **ReadyToHearTheWorst** » Thu Jul 31, 2003 8:20 am

El Vez wrote:
ReadyToHearTheWorst wrote:... and what's your favourite colour?

and the response here would be:
'Red, no I mean blue!'

courtesy Monty Python & the Holy Grail

bambooneedle · Post by **bambooneedle** » Thu Jul 31, 2003 8:38 am

What do you think about polygamy?

El Vez · Post by **El Vez** » Thu Jul 31, 2003 8:45 am

bambooneedle wrote:What do you think about polygamy?

Having several women thinking you're a fool at the same time is a very daunting concept.

bambooneedle · Post by **bambooneedle** » Thu Jul 31, 2003 8:49 am

Let me rephrase the question: how would polygamy change things for you? (better add a smiley -->

)

El Vez · Post by **El Vez** » Thu Jul 31, 2003 8:58 am

bambooneedle wrote:Let me rephrase the question: how would polygamy change things for you? (better add a smiley --> )

Would you want to marry someone who let you sleep with others or expect you to accept it when they do? I don 't.

Would it change things for you?

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