Elvis Costello Fan Forum

spooky girlfriend wrote:Well, I'm here - but I'm on the road with a damn slow internet connection.

Well come back and help me

Jackson Doofster wrote:I was bored and decided to create a character, loosely based on a cross between a Japanese woman with poor English and Manuel from Fawlty Towers.

No, I don't know why ANYONE would suspect you of being bright... or calculating!!

Ok,

It's confession time.

It

was

...

yeeessss.......????

(I already forgave you before, you know...)

me.

Honest. So, Rope you were right about me being Descartes. And I'm sure someone guessed I was Himself at some point or another.
Sorry if I pissed anyone off, especially Mug.

Miss B.A., I'll need a retraction.

Dang, Noisy!! I must say, you weren't in my top three suspects, so even better pulled off than I thought!

Well bygones is bygones, clever bee!!

Signed,

Forgiving Mug

Thanks for the pardon.

This is probably my favourite picture of Cari and I. This was taken in Cheddar, England, the day before we "hooked up" so to speak. I think it's Johnny Cash-esque

Blue, that's sweet and lovely, and you make a gorgeous couple. Great timing, the way you followed the Great Noise Confession with that total surprise epilogue. Brilliant.

I was just catching up on this thread, tittering to myself that Mug could think I was Himself, outraged that Rope could think anyone other than JD was WL, and as I read ?'s message was convinced it must be Monsieur Noise, so it was nice to get the denouement right for once. A real page turner of a thread. All those hours on stage in Oliver's Army, you see...

I take my hat off to you, Noise, it was brilliantly staged. That was all weird and fun. I'm almost nostalgic re-living some of that history together...

We dogs can smell this kind of stuff. I think Noise did an excellent job of making us think he was Elvis "himself".

All in good fun, but really, these confessions could be bogus, and every character on this board could be Taz for all I know.

But, we still don't know if the guest posting as "Elvis Costello" is really the man or not. I know it probably isn't, but the fact that he hasn't posted again lends to the intrigue, eh?

Blue Chair: "we got that killer thing / so young so young..."

Well done Noise

Noise wasn't really any of those people. They were all me. Miss BA is my sister and my next door neighbour is Lapinsjolis. SMM and PoP are loal crack dealers in my village and this whole message board is just there to place Rope's psyche under the microscope - a kind of 'Truman Show' for Costellites......... The Costello Show!

I KNEW IT!

I thought it was funny when people including myself started to call on
descartes for his special kind of reliability when it seemed
appropriate, "where's descartes?", when suddenly he announced that
he was tiring of it and wanted to begin discussing Elvis at last.

It was clear who was trying to be disruptive though, or was insane, or both.
I can't really remember the other aliases much but descartes and himself were
a good laugh. Thanks for that.

noiseradio wrote: Miss B.A., I'll need a retraction.

Consider it retracted. You are officially the cleverest multiple poster on the board, whatever the pseudonym.

Jackson, did you call Mom today? It's been a while, you know.

We are all unmasked now.

Jackson Doofster-I hope my wit is more highbrow than to make an allusion to borrowing a cup of sugar but the key is under the mat. . .

For those of you who did not have the pleasure of knowing Descartes, his reliable refrain was not the existential theorem you might suspect, but something far more useful (correct me if I am misquoting), which is

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

mug, i just blush when you talk that way. it doesn't match your photo.

i don't know about this. remember when himself backed out and wept all over the screen? that just doesn't seem like you noise? i do miss descartes.

bluechair, that is just a smashing photo. i have stared at it much.

i have no idea what you're all going on about.

and i don't actually care. unless it's fun, or about elvis.

and blue chair, that is a great photo. you two are so cute!!!

mug, could you send me the shot of me and whtesde? we didn't get one of you. very sneaky.

I only really posted under the names Descartes and Himself with any regularity. The others were employed in the reveal, and that's about it.

I don't remember weeping all over the screen, but I do remember suddenly realizing that what I intended for a joke had offended some people that I didn't want to offend. So I apoligized. And I think that sounds a lot like me.

i don't know. you were overly apologetic. it was already chaos, but something put it over the edge and you came on really hat in hand. you know it is a blur to me, of course i wasn't personally accosted like a couple of you. may be you could still pull descartes out once in awhile for us. like now for instance.

In the absence of Descartes allow me......

Everyone shut the fuck up!!