the most badass character in a rock song

miss buenos aires · Post by **miss buenos aires** » Tue Nov 18, 2003 10:29 am

I was listening to Blue Valentine this morning, and it struck me that I have never heard of a character quite as hardcore as Romeo in "Romeo Is Bleeding." Could one even exist?

romeo is bleeding but not so as you'd notice
he's over on 18th street as usual
looking so hard against the hood of his car
and putting out a cigarette in his hand
and for all the pachucos at the pumps
at romero's paint and body
they all seein how far they can spit
well it was just another night
but now they're huddled in the brake lights of a '58 belair
and listenin how romeo killed a sheriff with his knife

and they all jump when they hear the sirens
but romeo just laughs and says
all the racket in the world ain't never gonna
save that copper's ass
he'll never see another summertime
for gunnin down my brother
and leavin him like a dog
beneath a car without his knife

and romeo says hey man gimme a cigarette
and they all reach for their pack
and frankie lights it for him and pats him on the back
and throws a bottle at a milk truck
and as it breaks he grabs his nuts
and they all know they could've been just like romeo
if they only had the guts

but romeo is bleeding but nobody can tell
and he sings along with the radio
with a bullet in his chest
and he combs back his fenders
and they all agree its clear
that everything is cool now that romeo's here
but romeo is bleeding
and he winces now and then and he leans against
the car door and feels the blood in his shoes
and someone's crying in the phone booth
at the 5 points by the store
romeo starts his engine
and wipes the blood off the door
and he brodys through the signal
with the radio full blast
leavin the boys there hikin up their chinos
and they all try to stand like romeo
beneath the moon cut like a sickle
and they're talkin now in spanish about their hero

but romeo is bleeding as he gives the man his ticket
and he climbs to the balcony at the movies
and he'll die without a whimper
like every hero's dream
just an angel with a bullet
and cagney on the screen

taz · Post by **taz** » Tue Nov 18, 2003 10:40 am

Damn...as soon as I saw the thread title I was gonna say that character myself...

verbal gymnastics · Post by **verbal gymnastics** » Tue Nov 18, 2003 11:19 am

Taz - you can have Romeo in Mystery Dance instead as he was "restless and he was ready to kill".

cosmos · Post by **cosmos** » Tue Nov 18, 2003 11:23 am

I'd say it's the "son of a bitch who named his son Sue."

Jackson Monk · Post by **Jackson Monk** » Tue Nov 18, 2003 12:38 pm

Cotton Eye Joe

Post by **BlueChair** » Tue Nov 18, 2003 12:46 pm

Stagger Lee

El Vez · Post by **El Vez** » Tue Nov 18, 2003 1:40 pm

James Taylor - Handy Man

noiseradio · Post by **noiseradio** » Tue Nov 18, 2003 2:07 pm

The Mighty Quinn

El Vez · Post by **El Vez** » Tue Nov 18, 2003 2:51 pm

Two that really stand out for me........

The narrarator/carnival barker in Randy Newman's Davey The Fat Boy. Not exactly a macho tough guy, but probably the one character in the history of popular music that I would least like to encounter. He convinces his best friend's dying parents to let him look after their unfortunate son and then turns right around and parades him as a sideshow freak. That's a very, very scary individual in my book.

The other is Rudy Ray Moore's Dolemite. Not the popular blaxploitation film, but the jazz inflected half-spoken, half-rapped performance piece off Moore's classic Eat Out More Often album.

"Bitch, it's best you're not to fuck with me
I better run you down some of my pedigree
I swam across forty rivers and never got wet
Mountains has fell on me and I ain't dead yet
When I wanna fuck I go into the lion's den
Fuck all the he-lions and dare the she-lion's to grin

I swam across the ocean on the head of my dick
And ate nine tons of cat shit and ain't never got sick
Grabbed the tail of an astro jet and flew off to cloud nine
Drank a bottle of milk of magnesium and some red port wine"

A rope leash · Post by **A rope leash** » Tue Nov 18, 2003 2:56 pm

Oh the shark babe
Has such teeth dear
And he shows them
Pearly white
Just a jack-knife has
Ol' MacHeath babe
And he keeps it
Out of sight
You know when
That shark bites
With his teeth babe
Scarlet billows
Start to spread
Fancy gloves though
Wears ol' MacHeath babe
So there's never
Never a trace of red

On the sidewalk
Ooh Sunday morning
Uh-huh
Lies a body just
Oozing life, eek
And someone's sneaking
'Round the corner
Could that someone
Be Mack the Knife?

There's a tugboat
Down by the river
Don't you know
Where a cement bag's
Just drooping on down
Ooh that cement is just
It's there for the weight dear
Five will get you ten
Ol' Mackie's back in town

Now did you hear
About Louie Miller?
He disappeared babe
After drawing out
All his hard-earned cash
And now MacHeath
Spends just like a sailor
Could it be our boy's
Done something rash

Now Jenny Diver
Yeah Sukey Tawdry
Ooh Miss Lotte Lenia
And ol' Lucy Brown
Oh the line forms
On the right babe
Now that Mackie's
Back in town

I said Jenny Diver
Whoa Sukey Tawdry
Look out for Miss Lotte Lenia
And ol' Lucy Brown
Yes that line forms
On the right babe
Now that Mackie's
Back in town
Look out ol' Mackie is back

mood swung · Post by **mood swung** » Tue Nov 18, 2003 2:58 pm

good lord. I'm thinking like rope....

bambooneedle · Post by **bambooneedle** » Tue Nov 18, 2003 4:07 pm

It's a truly great album, isn't it, Miss. BA.

I thought Stagger Lee as well, before I opened the thread. I'm almost afraid to quote that song in case I get thrown out.

Another Waits one that comes to mind is Bone Machine's Black Wings. The character there scares in his mysteriousness:

Well he once killed a man with a guitar string
He's been seen at the table with kings
Well he once saved a baby from drowning
There are those who say beneath his coat there are wings
Some say they fear him
Others admire him
Because he steals his promise
One look in his eye
Everyone denies
Ever having met him
Ever having met him

Then there's Table Top Joe from Alice, but that's another story.

noiseradio · Post by **noiseradio** » Tue Nov 18, 2003 4:28 pm

We're all wrong. It's the narrator in Folsom Prison Blues.

"I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die."

mood swung · Post by **mood swung** » Tue Nov 18, 2003 4:51 pm

but is that a rock song?

(leaving quickly, before the lecture starts...)

LessThanZero · Post by **LessThanZero** » Tue Nov 18, 2003 5:14 pm

Maxwell Edison

Boy With A Problem · Post by **Boy With A Problem** » Tue Nov 18, 2003 6:10 pm

Quick Joey Small

laughingcrow · Post by **laughingcrow** » Tue Nov 18, 2003 7:05 pm

Even though he's dead in the song....gotta be real life killer Gary Gilmore, in the song 'Gary Gilmore's eyes' by The Adverts.

I'm lying in a hospital
I'm pinned against against the bed
A stethoscope upon my heart
A hand against my head

They're peeling off the bandages
I'm wincing in the light
The nurses look anxious
I'm just quivering with fright

I'm looking through Gary Gilmore's eyes
Looking through Gary Gilmore's eyes
Looking through Gary Gilmore's eyes
Looking through Gary Gilmore's eyes

the doctors are avoiding me
My vision is confused
I listen to my earphones
And I catch the evening news

A murderer's been killed and he
Donates his sight to science
I'm booked into a private ward
And I realise that I must be

Looking through Gary Gilmore's eyes
Looking through Gary Gilmore's eyes
Looking through Gary Gilmore's eyes
Looking through Gary Gilmore's eyes

Looking through Gary Gilmore's eyes
Looking through Gary Gilmore's eyes
Looking through Gary Gilmore's eyes
Looking through Gary Gilmore's eyes

I smash the light in anger
I push my bed against the door
I close my lids across the eyes
I wish to see no more

The iris receives messages
And send them to my brain
No guarantee the stimuli
Must be perceived the same

Looking through Gary Gilmore's eyes
Looking through Gary Gilmore's eyes
Looking through Gary Gilmore's eyes
Looking through Gary Gilmore's eyes
Looking through Gary Gilmore's eyes
Looking through Gary Gilmore's eyes (Gary don't need his eyes to see)
Looking through Gary Gilmore's eyes (Gary and his eyes have parted company)
Looking through Gary Gilmore's eyes

Jackson Doofster · Post by **Jackson Doofster** » Tue Nov 18, 2003 7:31 pm

yeah...Maxwell!! Serial killer!

whtesde · Post by **whtesde** » Tue Nov 18, 2003 7:50 pm

I would say almost everybody in Johnny Dowd songs, but No Woman's Flesh But Hers is especially frightening to me.

three years now she's been in a coma
in a hospital in Pauls Valley, Oklahoma
I go to visit her three times every week
each time I leave I kiss her on the cheek

no woman's flesh but hers will I touch
no woman's flesh but hers

I was drunk that night
I was higher than a kite
had my hand down inside her jeans
next thing I know, I heard my baby scream

the car rolled over three times at least
landed on its roof like a wounded beast
the medics brought out the jaws of life
it took them three hours to free me and my wife

three hours not one word was spoken
found out later her neck was broken
three years she's been in a coma
back in Pauls Valley, Oklahoma

I go to visit her three times every week
and when I leave I kiss her on the cheek
I was drunk
I was drunk that night

Tim(e) · Post by **Tim(e)** » Tue Nov 18, 2003 7:54 pm

Rather than the more traditional Stagger Lee, I nominate one Nick Cave's rather savoury chappy:

It was back in '32 when times were hard
He had a Colt .45 and a deck of cards
Stagger Lee

He wore rat-drawn shoes and an old stetson hat
Had a '28 Ford, had payments on that
Stagger Lee

His woman threw him out in the ice and snow
And told him, "Never ever come back no more"
Stagger Lee

So he walked through the rain and he walked through the mud
Till he came to a place called The Bucket Of Blood
Stagger Lee

He said "Mr Motherfucker, you know who I am"
The barkeeper said, "No, and I don't give a good goddamn"
To Stagger Lee

He said, "Well bartender, it's plain to see
I'm that bad motherfucker called Stagger Lee"
Mr. Stagger Lee

Barkeep said, "Yeah, I've heard your name down the way
And I kick motherfucking asses like you every day"
Mr Stagger Lee

Well those were the last words that the barkeep said
'Cause Stag put four holes in his motherfucking head
Just then in came a broad called Nellie Brown
Was known to make more money than any bitch in town
She struts across the bar, hitching up her skirt
Over to Stagger Lee, she starts to flirt
With Stagger Lee

She saw the barkeep, said, "O God, he can't be dead!"
Stag said, "Well, just count the holes in the motherfucker's head"
She said, "You ain't look like you scored in quite a time.
Why not come to my pad? It won't cost you a dime"
Mr. Stagger Lee

"But there's something I have to say before you begin
You'll have to be gone before my man Billy Dilly comes in,
Mr. Stagger Lee"

"I'll stay here till Billy comes in, till time comes to pass
And furthermore I'll fuck Billy in his motherfucking ass"
Said Stagger Lee

"I'm a bad motherfucker, don't you know
And I'll crawl over fifty good pussies just to get one fat boy's asshole"
Said Stagger Lee

Just then Billy Dilly rolls in and he says, "You must be
That bad motherfucker called Stagger Lee"
Stagger Lee

"Yeah, I'm Stagger Lee and you better get down on your knees
And suck my dick, because If you don't you're gonna be dead"
Said Stagger Lee

Billy dropped down and slobbered on his head
And Stag filled him full of lead
Oh yeah.

El Vez · Post by **El Vez** » Tue Nov 18, 2003 7:59 pm

whtesde wrote:I would say almost everybody in Johnny Dowd songs, but No Woman's Flesh But Hers is especially frightening to me.

Yes! I love Johnny Dowd's music. I have all four of his proper albums and I think he is one of the most amazing artists to come along in years. Pictures From Life's Other Side, which No Woman's Flesh But Hers belongs, is one of my favorite albums of all time. Bad Memories, I Hope You Don't Mind and God Created Woman are all strong candidates for this category. Or perhaps a better one would be Scariest Character In Pop Music.

whtesde · Post by **whtesde** » Tue Nov 18, 2003 8:15 pm

I pondered putting up God Created Woman, because the narrator in No Woman's Flesh isn't really badass so much as tortured and haunted, but the song scares the bejesus out of me nevertheless.

I once spent a day with the jukebox in my head switching between Worried Mind and Simon and Garfunkel. That was interesting. "Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme...jambalaya, crawfish pie, filet gumbo..."

noiseradio · Post by **noiseradio** » Tue Nov 18, 2003 9:07 pm

Folsom Prison Blues is very much a rock song. It's songs like that that got Johnny Cash in the Rock & Roll hall of fame in the first place.

bobster · Post by **bobster** » Tue Nov 18, 2003 11:15 pm

I've been to Reno. I saw a production of "Marat/Sade" just to watch it die. (Really.)

Speaking of which, as bad-ass as the lyrics to the Bobby Darin Mack-the-Knife are, it's based on Marc Blitzstein's somewhat bowdlerized translation of Bertolt Brecht's orginal. Other translations are far more bad ass. (And doesn't include the reference to Lotte Lenye -- the actress who played Pirate Jenny in the original productions and who was married to the composer, Kurt Weil and who later played in Rosa Klubb in "From Russia with Love," speaking of bad-asses.)

But for my money, the most chlling character in a song is the speaker of "Hey, Joe." Think about it, this pal of yours approaches with a gun and you ask what it's for. His response. "I'm going to shoot my woman down, down to the ground."

He doesn't do a thing. "Sure, Joe. You have a good luck with that shooting your woman down thing. I'll be here waiting for you after the next verse."

Okay, maybe not really a bad ass, but talk about apathy! This guy makes Marceau from "The Stranger" seem like a regular Leo Buscaglia!

Boy With A Problem · Post by **Boy With A Problem** » Tue Nov 18, 2003 11:27 pm

Nobody laughed at Quick Joey Small -

But really the baddest man has to be Johnny from X's "Johnny Hit And Run Pauline" --

He bought a sterilized hypo
To shoot a sex machine drug
He got 24 hours to shoot
All Paulines between the legs
He'll throw 96 tears thru 24 hours
Sexed once every hour

Johnny Hit and Run Pauline

L.A. bus doors open
Kicking both doors open
When it rested on 6th Street
That's when he drug a girl inside
He was spreading her legs
And didn't understand dying
She was still awake

Johnny Hit and Run Pauline

When he was waking up
Beside the bed
He found clumps of hair
The last Pauline wouldn't cooperate
She wasn't what you'd call living really
But she was still awake

Johnny hit and Run Pauline

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the most badass character in a rock song

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